so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize