I looked at my own cervix.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
