The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
