So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
