Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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