used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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