Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
