Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
