i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
