Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
