whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
