Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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