you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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