So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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