so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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