Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
