I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
