She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
