tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize