have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
