i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
