saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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