Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
