I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
