She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
