please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
