wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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