I must be too annoying 4 u.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
