Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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