so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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