The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
