Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
