You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
