I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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