After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my being single is dangerous.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize