Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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