I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
