Me. At least after what I've been through.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
