The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
