I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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