I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
