I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
