That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
