I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
