You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
