At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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