How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
