With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize