Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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