You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
