I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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