420 ftw
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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