just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
