She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
