smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
