I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
