I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
