I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize