It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need a beard to bite.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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