Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
