So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
smell my finger.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
