He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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