Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
