I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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